DAY THIRTEEN - LETTER FROM A READER!

Another letter from yet another loyal reader!

Dear TYCDIGS,

My question for you is a two parter - 
a) must i wait for sex bruises to completely fade before getting laser epilationand b) is the brazillian the new tramp stamp? Especially given the semi-permanent nature of laser epilation?

Kind Regards, 

A Curious Office Worker 

Dear A COW,
This is a very important question. Thank you for giving TYCDIGS the opportunity to engage in a distracting research question with non-rigorous research methods!
Regarding part a) ... As you are a north American of Catholic European ancestry living in a predominantly Muslim country, naturally your first instinct might be to preserve the snowflake-white reputation that us white girls have come to enjoy, and, indeed, deserve. It may seem that going in for a laser appointment while you are decorated with a variety of "sex bruises" would be an embarrassing or inappropriate move. But I am sorry to say, A COW, they are on to us, and they are on to you too.  


Two possible solutions:  1) wear a wedding ring or 2) claim you were daggered.


But do not forget the possibility that the laser attendant is not judgmental but instead jealous.   That laser is mad painful, and if the bitch suspects you're getting more than your fair share of quality sexy-time, she could give you a few extra zaps on your fundament.


Regarding part b) ... I have polled the audience on this one, following up with in depth questioning. Let me break this down by gender. Women have overwhelmingly responded that you should do what you feel comfortable with. That sounds like something women would say.  Some men seem to think you should just take it all off and argue at the same time that tramp stamps can be quite sexy in context. hyfr! But this is my favorite, and most descriptive, reply:

you just need to be conservative
with how much you take off
so, something wide enough to not be a strip?
The place you want the hair gone is the actual vagina
the mons pubis can be a jungle
just leave the pudendum bare
okay, I gotta pass out though

"Something wide enough not to be a strip" - sounds like a good standard. Sexy in the short-term, and yet in the long-term there you have plausible deniability - you were a lap swimmer and not a tramp.

Love,

TYCDIGS

DAY SEVEN

One theme of today at the office is "competing interests." This came up planning a Friday the 13th pub crawl. Let us say for the sake of this post that people go on pub crawls for two reasons*: a) to drink large amounts of alcohol b) to go to new places [that one would assume would also be filled with new people].

But a and b do not mix quite as well as grenadine in your shitty cocktail; showing up to a new-to-you bar you've "been wanting to go [to] foreeever" completely shitfaced may not be a very good idea.  This causes some difficulty when planning such an event, as prioritizing b [cool new bars] would seem to detract from a [getting shitfaced], but a can't really be compromised, because if you honestly after the vital components of b [new places and new people], wouldn't you just join salsa?

This reminds me of the sad, sad day I planned a pub crawl during GRAD LIFE.  We went to three bars, although at first we were going to go to four, because there were in fact four bars in the entire neighborhood. Unfortunately just two bars in we had to redirect our route because it turned out that one of the bars closed at midnight on Saturdays, so we ended up a bit early at Cheers, which that night happened to be filled with some kids from a midwestern university who unfortunately had decided to spend their spring break in a neighborhood with only three functioning bars.


*Please excuse the reductionism. STRUCTURALIST THOUGHT CAN BE HELPFUL.