DAY THIRTEEN - LETTER FROM A READER!

Another letter from yet another loyal reader!

Dear TYCDIGS,

My question for you is a two parter - 
a) must i wait for sex bruises to completely fade before getting laser epilationand b) is the brazillian the new tramp stamp? Especially given the semi-permanent nature of laser epilation?

Kind Regards, 

A Curious Office Worker 

Dear A COW,
This is a very important question. Thank you for giving TYCDIGS the opportunity to engage in a distracting research question with non-rigorous research methods!
Regarding part a) ... As you are a north American of Catholic European ancestry living in a predominantly Muslim country, naturally your first instinct might be to preserve the snowflake-white reputation that us white girls have come to enjoy, and, indeed, deserve. It may seem that going in for a laser appointment while you are decorated with a variety of "sex bruises" would be an embarrassing or inappropriate move. But I am sorry to say, A COW, they are on to us, and they are on to you too.  


Two possible solutions:  1) wear a wedding ring or 2) claim you were daggered.


But do not forget the possibility that the laser attendant is not judgmental but instead jealous.   That laser is mad painful, and if the bitch suspects you're getting more than your fair share of quality sexy-time, she could give you a few extra zaps on your fundament.


Regarding part b) ... I have polled the audience on this one, following up with in depth questioning. Let me break this down by gender. Women have overwhelmingly responded that you should do what you feel comfortable with. That sounds like something women would say.  Some men seem to think you should just take it all off and argue at the same time that tramp stamps can be quite sexy in context. hyfr! But this is my favorite, and most descriptive, reply:

you just need to be conservative
with how much you take off
so, something wide enough to not be a strip?
The place you want the hair gone is the actual vagina
the mons pubis can be a jungle
just leave the pudendum bare
okay, I gotta pass out though

"Something wide enough not to be a strip" - sounds like a good standard. Sexy in the short-term, and yet in the long-term there you have plausible deniability - you were a lap swimmer and not a tramp.

Love,

TYCDIGS

DAY TEN - LETTER FROM A READER!

Now time to answer a letter from one of my dear readers.

Dear TYCDIGS,
Should I go to grad school?
Thanks,
SIGTGS

Dear SIGTGS,

This is a very important question in any young or youthful but aging person's life, and the answer can be reached with a complex decision calculus.

If you are interested in gender/race/sexuality/"popular culture" with no background in any particular social science, you should strongly consider going to grad school, unless you have any creative talents, in which case you should consider becoming a blogger, artist, hat maker or cupcake baker.

If you identify as a radical, anarchist of any shade, socialist, leftist, or Occupier but still like to feel better than most people around you, you could probably just go into non-profit or union organizing. Or move to Detroit. But if you can come up with at least two reasons why these options just perpetuate the structures that oppress you and others, and eventually want a shot at making over $50,000 a year, you could try out grad school if you don't mind eventually abandoning everything that led you there in the first place.

If the proudest day of your life was the day you graduated from college, you should most certainly go to grad school.

If you enjoy impulse shopping, promiscuous sexual relations, travelling, sunshine, the possibility that at any given time the next step in your life might bring you to something completely different, shallow analysis of anything at all [=news, non-academic non-fiction, emails from your friends and family], do NOT go to grad school, unless you don't mind losing enjoyment from everything you used to love, which is, by the way, one symptom of depression.

If you've always thought you might want to go to grad school but don't really know what for, resist the urge to study Urban Planning, Comparative Literature, or Ethnomusicology. If you must go to grad school, fork out for a professional degree related to something you've actually done before, and then go get a fucking job.

If you want to go to grad school because you don't know what else you could do with your life, you could become a yoga teacher, or English teacher, or teacher of any kind, really.  But then again, that is also the end goal of going to grad school. So you’ve got to figure that one out on your own.

If you want to go to NYU, CUNY or Columbia, and have never actually lived in New York, then you probably just want to move there, and probably wouldn't really make it anywhere anyway. So why not just try your luck as a barista in a cute mid-western city? Cincinnati is really quite quirky these days.

If you're exceptionally good with numbers, computers or chemicals, the answer is no. 

Did any of this apply to you? 

Love,

TYCDIGS

It's Friday! But the LA/Tehran contingent brought a bit too much LA to this city, and now I'm not even sure I can go out this weekend. At the very least, the recently planned pub crawl must be postponed. I know, this is very non-NON GRAD.